The tips are good, but you discount that you make friends in great part by the impression your being makes on those you meet. You're a big-hearted, creative, and generous person.
Honestly, a lot of these tips were a good reminder for me! I think this highlights the importance of "weak ties," the people you start interacting with regularly, but what I love is the implicit call to see if they can become more than weak ties...if you can spend enough time with them to form a friendship. That was a bit surprising to me (which now I'm psycho-analyzing why that is haha).
Hahaha omigod I never thought of "deliberately" creating weak ties. I definitely did not expect the gym to become a place of "weak ties" but it's working somehow...
Great suggestions! As someone who once moved from a small town (where I was super comfortable) to a larger city 500 miles away, I know how difficult it can be to make new friends.
I didn’t get it right at first (made friends with some not-great influences) but within five years I found myself a life-sustaining crew.
It’s been 23 years since that big and scary move and I’m so glad I stuck it out.
I admire you! I am a big talk fan and suffer from small talk. I like the initial connection, like establishing the first link by showing interest. But it has to move to big talk at some point for me; otherwise, it's like we just keep going back to establishing the link each time.
And I love the tiny gestures you make—like the edamame pasta! This shows real intentional effort. I am so bad at these because just being this attentive to my partner or kids already takes up all my brain space and energy. And I'm still bad at it...
I miss the spontaneity of meetups and chit chats, which seems to dwindle not only with age but also with some cultures.
Being attentive to family is such a big priority, I hope you don't feel bad for showing up with your finite energy!
Yeah one of the big reasons I stick around in the city (instead of a bigger flat by the suburbs) is because I wanted to increase the "spontaneous chances" of bumping into people. But so agree. It's a different challenge with more commitments as we age.
These are the kinds of posts I like seeing in the world. Even better when they are from you! Do you have more thoughts around what to text people when you're thinking of them? I started doing this thing called encouragement journaling where instead of gratitude alone I work through how I want to encourage someone I am grateful for but it's very adhoc and mystical and would love to hear your insights on how you think of nurturing those connections further. Hope to catch you on a call one of these days soon! My best to you always.
I remember your encouragement journaling from your video! That's a really nice and warm way to reach out to someone.
Usually for me I just text them with what reminded me of them. "Hey I just passed by this coffee shop and remembered all the mornings we used to spend there. Thinking of you! Hope you're well with XYZ" and I semi-deliberately don't really do the "How are you?" thing so that there's no "pressure" to start a conversation. Though more often than not it becomes one :)
And yes call! How are you settled in? I didn't want to bother such a busy time!
I remember asking you about this around 4 years ago when I started my first job abroad. Looking back at the response you gave me back then has definitely shown how much you've grown now
The tips are good, but you discount that you make friends in great part by the impression your being makes on those you meet. You're a big-hearted, creative, and generous person.
Aw thank you so much Rick. That's super generous of you to say!
Great post 🫡 You're so good at this - but you're also really good at the nurturing part, which can easily be overlooked 😊
(p.s. zoom calls ftw 🙌)
🎉🎉 aw thank you. This feels extra valid coming from a newly made friend ☺️
Here to validate 😊
I love this, Becky!! Feels like such an important but under-discussed topic. Thank you for writing this.
Of course! Hope at least some of this is helpful :)
Dude, this is so hard! How do you make it seem so easy 😂
Dude it's still hard hahhahahhah
Honestly, a lot of these tips were a good reminder for me! I think this highlights the importance of "weak ties," the people you start interacting with regularly, but what I love is the implicit call to see if they can become more than weak ties...if you can spend enough time with them to form a friendship. That was a bit surprising to me (which now I'm psycho-analyzing why that is haha).
Great post friend!
Hahaha omigod I never thought of "deliberately" creating weak ties. I definitely did not expect the gym to become a place of "weak ties" but it's working somehow...
Great suggestions! As someone who once moved from a small town (where I was super comfortable) to a larger city 500 miles away, I know how difficult it can be to make new friends.
I didn’t get it right at first (made friends with some not-great influences) but within five years I found myself a life-sustaining crew.
It’s been 23 years since that big and scary move and I’m so glad I stuck it out.
23 years!! It's always a wild thing to just up and move to a new place.
I admire you! I am a big talk fan and suffer from small talk. I like the initial connection, like establishing the first link by showing interest. But it has to move to big talk at some point for me; otherwise, it's like we just keep going back to establishing the link each time.
And I love the tiny gestures you make—like the edamame pasta! This shows real intentional effort. I am so bad at these because just being this attentive to my partner or kids already takes up all my brain space and energy. And I'm still bad at it...
I miss the spontaneity of meetups and chit chats, which seems to dwindle not only with age but also with some cultures.
Being attentive to family is such a big priority, I hope you don't feel bad for showing up with your finite energy!
Yeah one of the big reasons I stick around in the city (instead of a bigger flat by the suburbs) is because I wanted to increase the "spontaneous chances" of bumping into people. But so agree. It's a different challenge with more commitments as we age.
Such a great, specific, and interesting post, thank you! I would like to hear more about "empty" time, cheers!
Thanks so much David!
These are the kinds of posts I like seeing in the world. Even better when they are from you! Do you have more thoughts around what to text people when you're thinking of them? I started doing this thing called encouragement journaling where instead of gratitude alone I work through how I want to encourage someone I am grateful for but it's very adhoc and mystical and would love to hear your insights on how you think of nurturing those connections further. Hope to catch you on a call one of these days soon! My best to you always.
I remember your encouragement journaling from your video! That's a really nice and warm way to reach out to someone.
Usually for me I just text them with what reminded me of them. "Hey I just passed by this coffee shop and remembered all the mornings we used to spend there. Thinking of you! Hope you're well with XYZ" and I semi-deliberately don't really do the "How are you?" thing so that there's no "pressure" to start a conversation. Though more often than not it becomes one :)
And yes call! How are you settled in? I didn't want to bother such a busy time!
well not quite settled yet but send me a text and we can make something happen in a week or two!
I remember asking you about this around 4 years ago when I started my first job abroad. Looking back at the response you gave me back then has definitely shown how much you've grown now