Accidental corporate spokesgay

On becoming the token Asian lesbian

They say money talks, but in Hong Kong, it yells. 

As a city that runs on finance, the government listens to what the rainmakers say. In 2014, a British woman known as SS received a job offer in Hong Kong. Her partner QT applied for a dependent visa, but was rejected because Hong Kong did not recognize SS as her spouse. In October, QT filed a judicial review to challenge the denial, and a legal battle ensued for the next three years.

The case rose up through the ranks. Court of First Instance, 2016. Court of Appeal, 2017. Court of Final Appeal, 2018.

The LGBT+ Interbank Forum Hong Kong (a peer-network of firms in financial services) and the Hong Kong Gay and Lesbian Attorneys Network (HKGALA), a.k.a. The Corporate Gays, caught wind of the case and put together an intervention application. The signatories argued that the preexisting dependent visa policy is detrimental for firms in Hong Kong because it prevented world-class talent from joining (and contributing to) the global financial hub. 

Gay talent brings money. Money powers the city.

This angle cornered corporations to become our most unlikely allies.

I was still a student when this shift happened, but my now-colleagues told me the story of how they ran from one exec’s office to another to get our company to co-sign. The court dismissed the statement, but the case ended up being a win for foreign same-sex couples. Expats could now bring their same-sex spouse under a dependent visa.

In 2024, the corporate gays are making a comeback. After an appeal on housing rights for same-sex couples, the Hong Kong government has been asked by the top court to come up with a framework that recognizes same-sex unions by October 2025. Momentum for LGBTQ+ equality is brewing once again.

As individuals, we can’t change the law, but as financial institutions, law firms, and big corporations, we have a loud say.

Me & the Manel

When “diversity, equity, and inclusion” entered the corporate zeitgeist in 2021, I was quickly identified as a 1) female, 2) lesbian, 3) Chinese-Indonesian — that’s three minority circles, a jackpot! As luck would have it, I was already doing some public speaking as a reporter covering finance and tech.

Minority + good public speaker = diversity poster child that shines on corporate speaking events ✨

My budding profile led me to other LGBTQ+ circles. I joined the board of my company’s Pride employee network. I was named as a global LGBTQ+ future leader. I mentor LGBTQ+ university students. As of 2024, I co-chair Interbank, the very forum that pointed a magnifying glass on the QT case.

Every June, I receive invites to speak on ‘pride panels’: events that corporations put on to show they are commemorating Pride. It feels surreal that Fortune 500 companies would have me, a 20-something junior employee. Sure, I dabble in many LGBTQ+ spaces, but there must be other people who are more qualified? Yet I want to keep speaking out about LGBTQ+ equality, so I always say yes.

What unfolds next is so predictable it’s like watching a rerun of Friends knowing they were on a break. The topic will be vague, something like “LGBTQ+ allyship” or “equality in the workplace”. The organizers would email me a poster of the panel a few days later. I’d excitedly click on it to discover who my fellow panelists are. When I open the attachment, I would understand (again) why I was chosen.

I was their diversity token.

I’ve been on panels with six men. I’ve been the only lesbian, the only Asian. Once, a public relations firm reached out and was honest in his motives: we’re trying to not make this a manel and to steer this away from being all-Caucasian.

As a part of my speaking prep routine, I would feel a pang of impostor syndrome. Who am I to represent the lesbians, the females, the Asians? It’s a lot of pressure. I’m often the most junior person on panels. Does that mean that I’m their best choice? Is there literally nobody else who is better suited to talk about LGBTQ+ equality from a female, Asian, lesbian perspective?

The panels are also a regurgitation of the same questions:

Q: What does Pride month mean to you?

A: Pride is a celebration of our unique identities and the acceptance of LGBTQ+ people in the wider community. Pride is also a reminder that although we have progressed, there is more work to be done until we can be truly equal with our peers.

Q: Why is allyship in the workplace important?

A: Here in Hong Kong and more broadly in Asia, the workplace is often a safer place to come out than in familial situations. There are certain cultural stigmas that the parental generation still bears, but workplaces treat employees equally. So if you’re an ally in the office, use pronouns. Rock some corporate pride merch. Trust me, we’re always peering for anything rainbow because it signals you are a safe space. Even better, urge your leadership to develop more inclusive employee policies and expand benefits, e.g. medical coverage for transitioning, fertility treatments, equal parental leave.

These are the questions I’d rather answer:

Can a token Asian lesbian singlehandedly save the world?

I don’t see many senior queer, female Asians in leadership positions. I joke that to “be the change you want to see in the world” is tiring and yet here I am.

People in Hong Kong seem to go by the motto, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”, so I’m speaking out to what is broken.

I’ve seen some small wins along the way. Many corporations, especially member firms of Interbank and HKGALA, extend spousal healthcare to same-sex couples, providing equal benefits to all employees. I’ve seen my employers establish gender-inclusive bathrooms, introduce gender-neutral language, and publish guidance in supporting trans employees. Every Interbank meeting I lead centers around how we can make our workplace better and more inclusive for our colleagues.

But I do want to acknowledge that pressing down on the gas pedal can be exhausting, especially when people turn to me as the Only. 

What can people do if they find themselves to be a tokenized representative?

It’s rough, I’m not gonna lie. You’re gonna feel like you’ve got a lot of expectations put on you. I feel ya. But I also know that if you keep stepping up despite being the Only, you are doing it for a reason.

Maybe establish some boundaries?

• Communicate with the event organizer. If you’re not out yet and are afraid of people finding out, alert the organizers so they can exclude you from communication materials. It’s common practice in LGBTQ+ spaces to have a no-photo policy unless announced so people can excuse themselves out of the frame.

• If you’re speaking, ask for the other panelists’ names. @nat just gave me this hot tip and I can’t believe I never thought to ask. Some people go so far as to ask what the purpose of the panel and who the audience is before accepting the speaking invitation.

• It’s not your job to save a manel. You may feel pressured to step up because nobody else is, but it’s not your responsibility to save a homogenous panel or an event that doesn’t represent the community. The organizers put this together. Let them handle it.

• When it feels like too much, step away. I’ve backed out of several pride month projects. This past week, my colleagues assumed that just because I was gay, I was going to put together some pride month events. I never put my hand up for it, but people kept looping me in emails and asking me for updates. Funnily enough, it feels like having to come out all over again: “I’m gay but I’m just not into this.”

What can corporations do beyond pride month?

We thank you for your service. But this is how you can be a safe space to your employees so they don’t think you’re just rainbow-fying your logos one month a year:

• Ask your LGBTQ+ employee network what they need. They are extremely attuned with what your LGBTQ+ colleagues are looking for, e.g. if there’s a particular demand in transitioning or fertility treatments. It would be ideal to cover all bases, but it would be practical to meet existing employee needs first before expanding benefits.

• Be conscious of LGBTQ+ visibility. It may endanger employees if your rainbow logo is being displayed in countries where LGBTQ+ is illegal. Have a chat with onsite representatives before taking any top-down action. 

• If you’re a senior executive, request for an educational training session from your network leads so you can confidently speak out about LGBTQ+ topics in your capacity.

• Back The Corporate Gays for our comeback. On the setlist: marriage equality, transitioning, rainbow families. Help us build on the momentum to October 2025 and beyond. In case you need some pointers… I know an LGBTQ+ network that I co-chair that I can point you to.

So what’s next?

I need this advice. I want to push back on manels, nudge people to have more diverse panelists, and ask for concrete follow-up actions. I’m one person. I can’t single handedly solve LGBTQ+ discrimination. But if I continue to tread wisely, I can continue to be a corporate gay nudges the arc towards equality.

So, um… does anyone need a diversity token in their panel?

Big massive thanks to

nat

who held my hand throughout the whole piece. This piece went through at least six versions, and Nat guided me through every single version of it.

Thanks too to

Kelly Davis

,

Jisoo

,

clare chai

,

Wyndo

, and

Harrison Moore

for the nudge to write this piece.

---

Looking back: The ultimate goal for most art students, and the surest way to fame, was to win the Prix de Rome competition. If you won this contest, you were sent to Rome at government expense to study the old masters. — Source: What Was the Goal of Academic Training? by

James Gurney

(more on my logs)

---

Update log:

• 🎵 On loop: Sabrina Carpenter covering Chappell Roan’s Good Luck Babe. Great song, great singer, great acoustics.

• 💍 I felt emotional watching Mrwhosetheboss’s wedding speech with 500 drones. I first thought 15mins was long but the speech tied together so beautifully at the end.

• 📖 Reading The Millionaire Fastlane by MJ DeMarco (4% completed) together with my dad. I don’t think he got very far and neither have I…

• 🥚 Did EMDR again with these pulsating eggs because according to my therapist “we need to desensitize trauma if you’re still feeling very charged about it!”.

• 🏋️‍♀️ Attended a cardio class that had some Hyrox moves with my doubles partner. We’re now confident that we can do over half of the moves. We also oscillate between feeling confident to being intimidated about the race.

• 💔 Had a really off Saturday despite exercising and eating good food. I realized later it’s because I’m still reeling a little bit from the EMDR, and that recovering from trauma (even with a lowercase ‘t’) requires a ton of patience.

Some links are affiliate links, meaning that I may receive a commission if you make a purchase through the links at no cost to you.