This captures the weird mix of feelings of doing your own work on your own terms and at least for me it never quite feels normal. I’ve just eventually learned to embrace the full range of feels
This plus a healthy amount of self-questioning (which is always ok in small doses imo for self awareness & conscious life decisions). Thanks for the heads up that there will be many more feels to come in this unchartered, honest life :)
As someone currently at the end of the journey you’re on, sort of, who is transitioning roles from one thing to another, I can really relate to what you’re saying. The only thing that I can say is that, the only thing I regret is places I didn’t show up or commit in my “job” because I was always scanning the horizon, planning an escape. I did all my duties—excelled at that, but personally I knew there were things I left on the table and that dogs at me, and the skills/relationships I could’ve built but didn’t bothers me. It was only corrosive to me in the end. It doesn’t sound like that’s in play here but just wanted to offer my $0.02.
This totally makes sense! It's kind of a "what if I went all in?" kinda thought process which we may decide now that is not for us but it is still an unexplored possibility
It’s very raw for me right now. I actually thought about this like two weeks ago, and this is the email I would have sent myself like seven or eight years ago.
“Find a way to put an ‘invisible wall’ up between your work self and the self that wants to do other things. I don’t mean that you should compartmentalize yourself, or hide yourself, or be dishonest by omission, but simply that you shouldn’t let your dreams for one thing mutate into resentment of something else. The fact that you’re trying to build an off/outramp doesn’t mean (1) you should be withholding parts of your personality during the day, or (2) letting your own internal standards at work slack just because you’re meeting other people’s expectation, or (3) not taking on responsibilities or projects you’d otherwise take on—assuming they don’t conflict with your bandwidth for your other projects and passions. You will eventually build the life you crave as a creative and entrepreneur, but hiding behind those dreams during the workday will only allow fear and bitterness to fester, and you will grow regrets in the form of the friends you don’t make, network you don’t build, experiences you don’t have, and skills you don’t learn at your current job.”
Generally, all advice is autobiographical and in this case, it literally is! That’s a note I wrote for myself for future reference, but I thought it might be useful.
Those enumerated fears reminds me of Corey Wilks "Four Horsemen of Fear" framework. Would recommend checking him out.
Glad you're playing the long game. I've been at this creator thing for around 5 years now and in many way I feel like I'm just now coming into my own. It's always good to read you and I wish you all the best.
This captures the weird mix of feelings of doing your own work on your own terms and at least for me it never quite feels normal. I’ve just eventually learned to embrace the full range of feels
This plus a healthy amount of self-questioning (which is always ok in small doses imo for self awareness & conscious life decisions). Thanks for the heads up that there will be many more feels to come in this unchartered, honest life :)
As someone currently at the end of the journey you’re on, sort of, who is transitioning roles from one thing to another, I can really relate to what you’re saying. The only thing that I can say is that, the only thing I regret is places I didn’t show up or commit in my “job” because I was always scanning the horizon, planning an escape. I did all my duties—excelled at that, but personally I knew there were things I left on the table and that dogs at me, and the skills/relationships I could’ve built but didn’t bothers me. It was only corrosive to me in the end. It doesn’t sound like that’s in play here but just wanted to offer my $0.02.
This totally makes sense! It's kind of a "what if I went all in?" kinda thought process which we may decide now that is not for us but it is still an unexplored possibility
It’s very raw for me right now. I actually thought about this like two weeks ago, and this is the email I would have sent myself like seven or eight years ago.
“Find a way to put an ‘invisible wall’ up between your work self and the self that wants to do other things. I don’t mean that you should compartmentalize yourself, or hide yourself, or be dishonest by omission, but simply that you shouldn’t let your dreams for one thing mutate into resentment of something else. The fact that you’re trying to build an off/outramp doesn’t mean (1) you should be withholding parts of your personality during the day, or (2) letting your own internal standards at work slack just because you’re meeting other people’s expectation, or (3) not taking on responsibilities or projects you’d otherwise take on—assuming they don’t conflict with your bandwidth for your other projects and passions. You will eventually build the life you crave as a creative and entrepreneur, but hiding behind those dreams during the workday will only allow fear and bitterness to fester, and you will grow regrets in the form of the friends you don’t make, network you don’t build, experiences you don’t have, and skills you don’t learn at your current job.”
Generally, all advice is autobiographical and in this case, it literally is! That’s a note I wrote for myself for future reference, but I thought it might be useful.
This is really great advice. Don't let dreams become resentment is so important
I need to find my tribe.. it feels so lonely out here. i’ve been scrolling on LinkedIn to find people to connect with.. not going well haha
Maybe your tribe is on substack!! 😬
I hope so 🥹
Happy to still be navigating the river alongside of you Becky. Lots of duct tape keeping my raft in the water.
🥳🥳 will give a shout if I need some of that duct tape :)
Those enumerated fears reminds me of Corey Wilks "Four Horsemen of Fear" framework. Would recommend checking him out.
Glad you're playing the long game. I've been at this creator thing for around 5 years now and in many way I feel like I'm just now coming into my own. It's always good to read you and I wish you all the best.
Thank you Steven. Think it has to be the long game with roads filled with discovery like ours. Glad to be on this journey with ya.
Congrats on 500 subs!
"too ‘creative’ for a bank but also too ‘white-collar’ to be a best-selling author" too real! Really related to many parts of this.
Thank you thank you! 🥹
I find hope and inspiration in your story :) thanks for sharing Becky!
p.s. your essay is convincing me to watch severance lol
Thanks Linart! Severance is sososo good 👀
placing it at the top of my watch list 👀