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"I flagged immediately that a lot of LGBTQ+ stuff is going to come up because I didn’t want to waste time with homophobic therapists." - Is it based on your past experiences? Aren't therapists trained to not judge their patients?

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Yup and ideally yup! But every therapist comes in with their own set of beliefs. It's hard for them to not judge when it goes against their values. Not their fault, but they are still people at the end of the day.

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thanks for sharing Becky! your journey through all your therapists remind me of my ongoing journey with my physiotherapists… especially the part about finding the right fit and whether they understand you; the pocket pinching is real too.

keep it up! :)

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Thanks Hsu! Physiotherapy is also an oddly intimate routine. It's very easy for someone to dismiss/overplay your symptoms, and you want to find someone who's juuuuust right.

Thanks for your constant encouragement :)

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Thank you for sharing all the detail. Telling someone to access mental health support is different from finding the right support. It isn't like dispensing meds. You showed that when you found someone who you could be appropriately vulnerable with, you were able to get some of the right kind of help.

At a recent panel that I moderated, the KPMG Chief Mental Health Officer for Canada noted that we need a diversity of professionals, so that people get to the person they can relate best to.

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Thanks for reading and stopping by, Karena. I like that term, a diversity of professionals. Theoretically, we should professionally be able to communicate with anyone. But practically, there's always an extra trait that can help us connect to one person and not another. It took me a long time that I'm allowed to find the person I relate to most in therapy, too.

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This was my favorite essay of yours so far Becky. Generous, authentic, and encouraging for those of us wanting to practice self-honesty in public. It should be required reading for anyone opening their own therapy practice, to get this kind of frank and insightful perspective from the client side. In fact, if I read this as a therapist I'd give it to all my potential clients as an example of someone who is activating the proper agency and self-reflection for success in therapy.

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Thanks so much, Rick! I realized that I didn't know a lot about therapy, e.g. that it gets worse before it gets better, or that you don't have to stick with the first therapist you find. I'm glad this piece is able to provide that additional perspective to anyone who is therapy-curious.

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Nov 22, 2023Liked by Becky Isjwara

Becky, this was fabulous. Your writing had me totally engulfed. Therapy is life changing- took me until 30 to realize that, but hey, better late than never! I cannot get enough of your humor- keep it up!

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Aw thanks so much Emma! I always think that if we're not ready to receive it (me x therapy 7 years ago), I would have shunned it away any way. But now, now is a good time :)

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