Beautiful life lessons from anonymous people

No names, no holds barred.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

How well can you know someone in one hour?

Turns out, a good lot. Every week, comedian Chris Gethard talks to a stranger for a full hour about anything: from Groundhog day to being a 39-year-old grandmother.

The podcast, aptly named Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People, has north of 100,000 invested listeners. During the conversation, Gethard - not pronounced the way you think it is - is not allowed to hang up. Instead, he empathizes with his callers. He gives sincere reactions such as getting riled up about an abusive boyfriend and saying “Sorry, Sally” (his mother) whenever he curses on air. And we get to be flies on the… other side of the internet to these interactions.

I discovered Beautiful/Anonymous in the early years of college, right as I was thrusted into the melting pot of a city that is Hong Kong. Growing up in an Indonesian suburb, I was too shy to interact with people who did not sound or look like me. Here, I was exposed to the cold waters of a new environment. I was forced to make new friends and heck, date new people.

I was at the cusp of becoming a new person. I no longer had to operate within the societal confinements of a town where the next-door aunties gossip about everyone, so I was finally free to express myself with minimal judgement. As I cook tomato egg stir fry from my university dorm room or run on the treadmill, the stories from Beautiful/Anonymous callers introduced me to an expansive world, right from my phone podcast player.

There was no rule to being a Beautiful/Anonymous guest. Tattoo artists, wood choppers and surrogate moms call in. I hear stories from people who are thriving, people who are just coming out to their parents, and people who have just lost their child.

A non-exhaustive list of beautiful life lessons I have picked up from anonymous callers:

• Everyone has a story. A woman who’s about to turn herself into prison, three boys who love to make pickles, a deaf caller, swingers… you name it. There’s always a surprising tune in every person.

• I did not need to take homophobia from my family anymore. Geth gets so angry talking to kids who call in about their toxic family dynamics. He made me realize that things could be better for me, too.

• Marching band people are cool. And a huge chunk of us are Beautiful/Anonymous listeners.

• Teachers are secretly alcoholics. Which makes total sense, given their immense responsibility.

• Creative dreams are always worth pursuing. Geth talks to people who are puppet masters, amateur comedians, and aspiring filmmakers. Take that chance, get rejected, and try again. When you don’t win the life of your dreams, make sure you lose well.

The podcast is my constant companion for when I go out on walks, all the while surrounded by the bustling population of Hong Kong. Everytime I finish an episode, I look around and wonder what people’s stories are. What happened to the supermarket cashier register yesterday? What is the guy on the other side of the crosswalk thinking about? Where are these rushing and well-dressed people headed towards?

The world always looks more vibrant and brighter whenever I listen to Beautiful/Anonymous. I wanted to forge those authentic connections, too, and managed to break away from my shy shell. Instead of walking past my office building security guards, I now say “good morning” in Cantonese - a language I never heard of before stepping foot in this city. Instead of asking people at birthday parties what their jobs are, I ask what curiosities keep them up at night. When people tell me about their love for hiking, I ask what exactly about it makes them excited.

The podcast displays the beautiful, powerful, and honest moments in people’s lives, which all stem from candid heart-to-hearts. I’ve managed to sneak in questions from the podcast into my coffee chats, turn episode topics into conversation starters, and emulate the empathetic reactions to an emotional story.

A surprising, indirect gift of listening to Beautiful/Anonymous? I now have a web of authentic relationships I will hold onto until the end of their natural lives. I leveled up when I started to connect with people more curiously, more sincerely. And my chosen circle has become all the more beautiful for it.