How to be an ally in 2023

Happy Pride month!

Yesterday, I spoke about building a culture of LGBTQ+ allyship at the American Chamber of Commerce in Hong Kong. Some snippets I mentioned:

1. Being an ally isn’t easy. It’s not supposed to be. By definition, you are supposed to stand up for a community that you don’t identify with. It takes active effort to keep up with the nuances and the vernacular. For example, queer used to be a derogatory term. However, the term has since been reclaimed by the LGBTQ+ community, although some reservations remain.

2. Allyship within the community. Being the L in LGBTQ+ does not automatically make me knowledgeable about challenges my GBTQ+ siblings face. We need to practice allyship within our community, too.

3. Allyship is often synonymous with being a decent human being. Last year, my parents sent me a text in the middle of the workday saying they wanted me to meet a therapist who, surprise surprise, practices conversion therapy. It caught me completely off guard. I told my cishet managers that I’m not in the right headspace to do my afternoon assignment. Though my managers do not understand the severity of conversion therapy - and how alarming it can sound to us in the LGBTQ+ community - they gave me a half day off, no questions asked. They did not need to understand to empathize and accept.

4. “A seat at the table” isn’t enough. Creator and multi-hyphenate Lilly Singh said during her TED talk, “I got a seat at the table and this table sucked” because it was filled with men and people who did not look like her. Similarly, LGBTQ+ people often find themselves to be the only one at the table alongside cisgender hetero leaders, if at all. Support would look so different if there are LGBTQ+ allies on that table. Or on multiple tables.

5. It takes a pink village. Last November, 117 companies across Hong Kong invited employees to wear pink shirts on a Friday to support LGBTQ+ inclusion. Pink Friday is one of the instances in which organizations in the city could put up a united front to stand up for the same cause. Companies in the city also have a certain sway in local policies, such as equal rights for dependent visas, home ownership, and inheritance.

On a lighter note, I’ve managed to secure tickets to Sam Smith today while my friends struggled to get into the ticketing website. Seems like gay luck is in full swing.

I’ll catch you next week.