Frazzled by a dying fridge

Becktaurant, as I affectionately call our kitchen, was closed until further notice.

One Saturday, I opened our freezer to grab a pack of marinated pork bulgogi. Instead of a solid ice block of meat, my hands touched a mushy ziplock.

I cater every item at my home so that my life functions as close to autopilot as possible. That way, I can focus on the important stuff. Like work, relationships, and my creative projects. My closet is a careful curation of neutral colors. Every room has an iPhone charger near the seats. My fridge has all my favorite nutritious food.

I started grabbing the other objects in the freezer. The salmon packs were flimsy. Oreo ice cream bars became goo. Water in the ice tray swished when I yanked it out.

Darn it. The freezer walls were warm. I looked at Jin, “I think our fridge is dying.”

I laid the meat on the cutting board. I put some rice in the cooker, chopped some spring onion, and poured oil into a hot pan. Maybe if I prepare dinner, the fridge will magically be cool again.

“How long ago did you get it? Is it your landlord’s, and can they fix it?” asked Nic, a friend who came over for dinner and is the fortunate witness to this fiasco.

“It’s ours. We got it two years ago,” Jin answered. Maybe if I don’t acknowledge the broken fridge, I won’t have to fix it.

“I can’t figure out what’s wrong with it,” Nic tapped away at her phone’s browser. Jin pulled out the fridge’s receipt and said something about how we are still within the warranty period.

“This online manual says there’s a temperature setting?” Nic was still scrolling through her phone. Jin found a temperature dial and maxed it.

I flipped over the meat. Maybe if I make a good dinner, the fridge will bounce back.

“Yeah I think your best bet is to have the Samsung people take a look,” Nic said.

The rice cooker beeped. I portioned the rice into three bowls and handed them over to Jin to serve. I laid an Ikea trivet on the dining table and placed the bulgogi-filled pan on it.

“Sorry you had to look up the fridge stuff,” I said to Nic. She was supposed to be our guest for the night. “I get really paralyzed when something at home breaks.”

“Oh I’m the same,” Nic said while scooping meat into her bowl. “I can only be this resourceful because it’s not my home.”

Maybe if I ask for help more, people will help me.

*

I wish the fridge was fixed the next day, but instead I watched it slowly die while waiting for maintenance to call.

Each day, I threw away food that wasn’t going to make it. All meat was out on day one, but maybe packaged dumplings had a chance. On day five, I chucked the pinto beans out. On day seven, I binned a pack of minced garlic.

During that time, I had to do away with meal prep, cooking, and hosting friends for dinner. Becktaurant, as I affectionately call our kitchen, was closed until further notice. Unable to cook my own comfort food, I felt frazzled and antsy. Jin was starting to miss the taste of home too.

I just have to hold onto maintenance day. Once the fridge is fixed, I will zoom out to the supermarket and restock on frozen marinated meat, fresh grapes, and Oreo ice cream. I can even cook a fresh dinner for when the eventful day arrives! No more pre-packaged pasta from the supermarket. I’d make ragu from scratch or stir fry a concoction of multicolor vegetables into capcay.

A lanky dude banged on my front door on day 10. He opened the fridge and felt the not-so-cool air.

“You have big problem,” he said. Why yes, brother, I really do, I thought.

“Can you fix it?” I asked warily. I was hoping his answer in English would be better than my Cantonese.

“I need to call my boss to replace the part,” he explained. “I don’t have the part.”

Wait… what?! I waited ten days, canceled my meetings to work from home, and he doesn’t have the parts? Didn’t Samsung tell him what my fridge’s problem was? He surely can’t leave me like this?

“Okay lah I go now,” he walked towards the door. “Bye bye. My company will call you again.”

A flurry of demands flooded through my brain. Should Samsung be responsible for my spoiled food? Should I post a bad online review? Is there someone I can call?

This was the same rolodex of steps I would go through for work-related projects. There was an IT person to fix my Outlook crashes, a real estate colleague to alter the office temperature when it was too hot or too cold, and a finance team to help approve my meeting expenses.

I pride myself on not attaching self esteem to my work because it gives me objectivity when solving problems. I don’t mind someone blaming me for the fire as long as the fire gets put out. It’s just a job, after all.

But home… home is where I restore my balance, recoup for the next day, take pride in hosting dinners for friends and chosen family. Home is where everything should run smoothly to absorb all the jankiness of life outside of it: work, friends, gossip, conflicts... Home cannot be a reset button if one cog isn’t working.

On day 16, Samsung called. Finally! I can cook again soon! I can stop eating takeout! I can shop for groceries! I can take restaurant leftovers home!

She spoke to me in Cantonese. I asked her to repeat the question in English. She asked me in Cantonese if I am Rebecca. I said, “Yes I am Rebecca but I don’t speak Chinese.” She asked me again in Cantonese if I am Rebecca. I said yes but can she please speak to me in English.

She went silent. I imagined her looking across her desk, trying to flag over that one colleague who could remotely speak English to talk to me. We’d find a date for the technicians to come over and I’d be reunited with a working fridge again.

Instead, she hung up. Perhaps that English-speaking colleague was in the bathroom or was taking a coffee break or was sick that day. Nine years of living in this foreign city, I couldn’t get something as staple as my fridge to work.

I slumped in my seat and cried.

Thank you for your fresh feedback and conversations:

Harrison Moore

,

Miche Priest

,

Lavinia Iosub

, and

Maria

.

---

Update log:

• 🍸 After speaking perhaps weekly since April, I got to meet

  Lavinia Iosub
  in person! Bonus: I got to see her a second time and we were joined by
  künstlerroaming
  .

• 🥙 I thought stomachaches from overeating was just something people said… until I experienced it last week. Christmas feasts are no joke. And I now know my limit.

• 🕸️ I finished Spider-Man 2 (affiliate) on the PlayStation. Great story, great characters (though I have some thoughts on MJ), and I can’t wait for the sequel.

• 💻 Jin encouraged me (read: used her birthday wish) to play Baldur’s Gate 3. I’m still very much overwhelmed… but have been promised that it’s a good story.

• ✂️ I’ve been collaging memories from 2023, collected in random scraps of paper and ticket stubs, in a Traveler’s Notebook. I’ve been journaling in them while watching The Office. I’m on season 3 now and I’ve been laughing away.

• 🏃🏻‍♀️ I ran all of both days of 2024 albeit at a slower pace (8mins/km). I surprisingly enjoyed it so much more. I got to think, it wasn't too strenuous on my body, and I barely felt the 40min run. Maybe I should keep it this way for a while.