Contentment fits in a carry-on
What an unstructured March taught me about the life I'm actually living
There are many ways to know that you’ve outgrown a home. I didn’t expect remote work to be one of them.
Throughout my whole work life my workdays have been anchored to the 9-to-6 work schedule. But the month is March and my boss is away for a month for some business travel.
For the first time in my life, I had the ultimate freedom to decide when to work.
Woah.
Unlike all the folks who had this flexibility during the pandemic, back then I was still working technically for the Hong Kong office so I still matched their hours. But this time the team is remote. This time the business nature is the internet, which is online 24/7 and never sleeps. This time my schedule was mine fully for the making and shaping and breaking.
And break I did.
I experimented here and there. I tried taking it easy after my morning gym sessions, burying myself in a novel before cooking lunch and then starting off my day then. I tried jamming work in the mornings and then clocking off work early to do a sunset walk by the harbour. I tried splitting up my workdays to have the afternoon to myself before burying my nose in the Terminal window all the way through midnight.
From these experimental weeks I had two learnings:
One. I do not thrive without structure. I felt so utterly lost. I questioned what to do at all times. I know I had stuff to do and nothing felt right. Doing work in the morning when I could have personal time felt off. Doing personal stuff when work was hanging over me also felt off.
There were many days where I napped and rolled around in my sofabed only to realise it had hit 4PM and I hadn’t done anything for work. I would rush to the laptop and feel the urgent hurry of working, proving myself to still be useful, trying to squeeze out something. I’d reprimand myself for letting the day “go to waste” but repeat the same unstructured cycle tomorrow.
Two. What I filled my personal time with was surprisingly… “small” things. I didn’t default to messaging a friend and asking to hang out. I didn’t default to exploring a hidden corner of Hong Kong, or going out drinking till late, or even perusing the many stores that are just below my street.
My “small” life that month consisted of reading, journaling, cooking, and vibecoding. When I wasn’t feeling lost and confused, I felt really content with what I was doing.
And it surprised me that what I was doing had nothing to do with the location I was in.
Reading, journaling, cooking, and vibecoding are location-agnostic activities that can be done literally anywhere in the world. I could pluck myself away from Hong Kong and onto a remote island and it wouldn’t make a difference.
There was a time where I felt differently. I revelled at having restaurants that I was a regular at. I loved walking through the train stations and bumping into some familiar faces. I thought the hallmark of being “at home” in a location is always being invited to some community event.
But somewhere along the way the winds shifted. I didn’t feel like attending those events anymore. My interests forked from the rich wine and dine experiences the cityfolk love. Heck, my job is an anomaly and I don’t know anyone else in the city who does what I do.
I’ve never intended to fully settle in Hong Kong. I’ve always wanted to bounce, only staying until the 7-year mark for when I could get my permanent resident card. That was always the deal. But I never expected the question of whether to leave to come from something as “boring” as a month of reading and cooking.
If I could work anywhere, why stay in Hong Kong? The life that makes me content is in actuality a “cheap” life money-wise. Do I need to earn this much to be happy? What if I trade money for more time? What if I move?
All questions that require more than a month of unstructured thoughts to process.
But for now, the boss is back and filming resumes.
Update log:
😷 I’m down with a reeeally bad cold. Like I spent the last 4 days just sleeping. It’s horrible. Do not recommend.
☕️ Caught up with an old friend from waay back in my uni days. The best catch ups are the serendipitous ones.
🍝 Had a lil fun pasta eve at Corliss Wong’s beautiful home. Girl knows how to decorate a place.
📺 April creative updates are here. In this update: Publishing Bite-Sized Creativity, run clubs, job change
👩💻 Planning an Intro to Claude Code workshop next next week on behalf of Small Creator Big World. We’ve been quite surprised at the amount of signups!
📘 Wrapped up Katabasis and now I don’t quite know what to do with myself. Rebecca F. Kuang is goated. The book was so so good and I enjoyed being immersed in that universe, even if the universe is hell.
Work with me: https://go.beckyisj.com/workwithme
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I have ADHD, so the whole "I feel lost without a routine" thing is normal to me. What makes me sad, though, is how some people weaponize this very thing to paint me as a not-fun person, as someone who can never be spontaneous and is not worthy of being a friend... okay, that went too deep.
I don't know if that lent to how I find contentment in writing in between work tasks and even in doing household chores (I just mopped the floors as I write this). Some would always want those "liminal" spaces to be devoted to the whimsical and romantic and fun, to the point of eschewing the drudgery that makes them worthwhile. I don't like that we have gone to that extreme, and at the expense of people who just try to live.