Buy your next habit

You get what you pay for.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

I felt ridiculous. Who drops $80 on a pen? Not frugal Rebecca... It was the biggest stationery purchase of my life and completely out of character. But then I thought about how I hadn't eaten out in months, I wasn’t saving up for a trip, and wasn’t even dressing up to go to work. It was 2020 after all, and Hong Kong's lockdown rules were particularly restrictive.

Two days later, the shipment arrived. I hurriedly cut open the package to reveal a clear fountain pen with a thick, gold-coloured nib and a forest green leather-bound journal wrapped meticulously in cling film and scrunched up recycled paper. I filled my pen up with a royal blue ink that was listed as a bestseller item, and uncapped it to write.

It was magical.

The ink flowed so smoothly on the coated page, allowing my words to glide across rhythmically as I wrote different letters and fonts to test the pen out.

When I tilted my head to the side, I saw the blue ink shine a bright red. A quick Google revealed that this is known as “sheening”, and this ink was particularly known for its intense shining look. I had no idea liquid could do that.

The next morning, I hurriedly opened up my notebook to a blank page to write that day’s date. And then I leaned back to catch the reflection on the ink. I was giddy. How gorgeous does that look? I wrote down the time. I leaned back again.

In Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way, she talks about the benefits of morning pages. The three pages of longhand stream-of-consciousness writing each morning are said to clear your mind, process your feelings and improve creativity. She failed to mention the effect of a really great pen — I barely remembered to sip my morning coffee, too busy admiring how the ink looked on my paper.

The urge to use my pen prompted me to write the next day, and the day after next, and the day after next. Four years and six handmade leather-bound notebooks later, I still journal every morning.

Journaling is inherently an inexpensive habit. All you need, really, is an office ballpoint pen and printer paper. But it wasn’t until I obtained the tool I was so excited to use that I actually kickstarted my journaling habit.

Seeing the ink glisten on the page made me elated! I wanted to keep writing, and I wanted to write often.

After a month or so — past the 21 days it scientifically takes to form a habit — I began to experience the benefits of journaling. I started my days more attuned to my thoughts, being able to uncouple my to do list from my anxious thoughts. I noticed patterns, like how bean sprouts make me feel extremely bloated. I even stopped snapping at my partner (though she might not agree as we were cooped up in a 300-square-feet Hong Kong flat).

So although expensive purchases are rarely justified, I’d like to argue that some, in fact, are. Especially when it serves as an impetus to a long-term change for the better.

I still lean back after filling up a full page. It’s just so beautiful.